my brain dump

 The other day, our tenant sent us the latest photos of the house. I didn’t expect to see the photos, so I was really surprised.

What I was most surprised is, how nostalgic it felt in that moment to see the photos. He did take good care of the house, and almost everything is in tact, just like how we left it to him 2 years ago. He upgraded some furnitures, like sofa and dining table, but somehow it didn’t change anything. It still feels the same, like it is still our house.

It felt so nostalgic because I really can’t believe we used to live there until 2 years ago.

The house was where we grew up as a family. The boys were toddlers when we moved there, and I remember we had to search high and low for kindergartens because the area wasn’t fully developed yet. When it slowly developed, kindergartens started filling in the empty shoplots and shops started open, that was when Covid hit. We were left in our small bubble in lockdown, couldn’t go anywhere but the areas near our house, but somehow it felt like we had everything we needed - restaurants and shops in walking distance, and parks for the kids to let out steam. I didn’t really feel isolated because of this area we were living in, our old house. Neighbours would send some dishes during Ramadan and even when we celebrated Raya in lockdown, I didn't really feel lonely.

Now, after 2 years, we living in my favorite city feels like something that only happens in movies. But it’s my life.

Looking back now, while I will never go back to that place, I feel grateful for the experiences and lessons learnt. And I hope our tenant feels at home in that house that used to be our home.

Our home now (and I'm still pinching myself for it)

We might move again after this, but I really don’t want to because where else can you find a balcony view that can top this?

 I’ve mentioned over and over how I’m going to update this space, but yet nothing happens. If this is a KPI at work I would’ve gotten fired by now..

So met some old friends last few weeks, one of those rare occasions when suddenly a friend dropped by Tokyo for a visit. God knows my social life outside my family is practically non-existent, so I always try to make time for these rare occasions, because it feels like God giving me these opportunities and say “you’re welcome!”

We had lunch at Rasa Malaysia Ginza, a Malaysian restaurant which has been the go-to place for Malaysians gatherings. I’ve never been there, but I think the char koey teow there is awesome, and you have to make a reservation because it’s always full.

Afterwards, walked along the streets of Ginza. Usually it was just me and husband and the kids strolling around Ginza so I couldn’t really take in the atmosphere cos I’d be busy running around the kids, but this time, no more baggage to lug around lol. 

Ginza on weekends is such a delight because they closed off roads where people can take a walk at the main streets. We spent time there having coffee, even had some street photographers requesting to take photos of us haha (made me think are Muslims with hijab so rare in Japan?) 

Ahhhh so happy!!! 

Can’t believe I’m at this stage of life where meetups with friends become less common that I treasure so much.

Also, special thanks to Huda for making the time to meet, finally!! <3

 Why I think Tokyo is for introverts:

I can go out of my house and hop on the train to go to the busiest part of Tokyo and back home without making a single conversation with anyone, and that’s normal.

You can guarantee to have a personal private time in a busy, packed train because everyone respects your personal space (taking calls in the train is prohibited, and you are frowned upon if you make noises in the train)

People don’t care how you dress. They won’t stop you in the street and ask you about your dressing (believe me, this happened)

They walk fast, so you won’t be annoyed with slow paces.

I can go on and on given how introvert I am and these are basically some few points why I like this city. 

But most of all, I love the fact that I don’t have to make small talks and just live in my own bubble.

There’s a back story to this, which I’ll share later. 

But my heart is at peace❤️

 I think I’ve changed a lot since the first day we arrived here.

I think I’m so much calmer now. Sure, helping the kids with homeworks and whatnot has been exhausting, what more now that Rafiy has started elementary school - but we understand the school procedures a lot now. They have regulations and procedures that are quite different (and more detailed) from Malaysia, so at first it seemed daunting, but now I can sign the boys’ renrakucho at first glance without questioning so much. So I count that as an achievement.

I’m so much I-don’t-give-a-fuck now. If a neighbour wants to pick apart our little things, well by all means. I don’t really care. If someone gives a side eye in the train cos of the kids being boys, well wtf should I do, cage them inside the house? If there’s a seat in the train and nobody wants to sit, well I’d be the first to do so. That polite Atil in Japan no longer exists. I pay taxes here, did I live here for free that I have to endure racist treatments?

By all means, they can go ahead and annoy me - but best believe I’d fight back :)

Or maybe this is just my menses talking..