cyber bullies.

One of the hottest topic these days - the 14 yo girl who claimed to have lost virginity on her blog AND not ashamed of it.

I've read so many comments and tweets about this, but never really bothered to put myself in that position of judging - I guess it's only natural that people tend to get carried away in correcting/judging whenever someone made a mistake. Albeit sengaja, or not.

I've read her blog, and I can really say most of the posts aren't intelligent. Or mature. Well, a 14 yo girl. Some even seem naive to me; I realize just how much different our generations are. Claiming to have had sex to the whole wide world, well I don't know if it's a norm but it's really out of ordinary.

But most of all, after reading the comments on her blog, I really wonder if she deserved to be treated this way. Mind you, she's only 14. Not some 25 yo actress who's going clubbing every night. She's a girl who needs attention and a boyfriend (according to her).

So is it right to trash her on blogs and Twitter etc? Moreover on her blog, where she can read and see the harsh things people say about her?

This sounds familiar. So I googled about cyber-bullying.

Cyber-bullying is "the use of information and communication technologies to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior by an individual or group, that is intended to harm others"

As the victim of cyber-bullying for YEARS, let me say this.

It's never okay to read harsh things being said about you, however small you think it is. However stupid you think it is. I'm not sure how she copes with having a fan page being made on FB (well she's only 14! I was..spending time listening to CDs in classes when I was 14, minding my own business) but it seems like she can go on with her life as usual, so I guess the matter isn't as big to her.

True, she made a mistake. True, she needs guidance and love especially from family. True, all of us think we are better than her. But does it give us the right to ajar her about religion? Or maybe, isn't there the nicer way to teach her and correct her?

Islam doesn't preach hostility. There's no need to be so hostile.

As for me, cyber-bullying or cyber-stalking isn't so harmful (when you're proven innocent) if you know how to deal with them. (read about it here.) To me, they're just kids who need attention - who on Earth, really, has the time to go through your Fb photos/Twitter statuses/blog JUST to make fun of you?

When their existence didn't even matter to you. When you've never even talked to some of them. When some of them claimed to be friends and turn their backs once in front of their friends. When you have absolutely nothing to do with them. Really, what does it benefit them talking mean things about someone, when he/she doesn't even care about them?

I reallyy don't get their motives. A way to waste time, maybe.

I can post the names and the comments here, but that would too easy.

Even though I was annoyed by the constant comments being made, so many people advises me to just stay calm and act indifferently. One of the things my friend says, "don't stoop down to their level" - it really gives me a new look into the whole thing, because saying bad things back at them will just 1)make them think you care 2)give them more things to say about you 3)make you one of them. It's sad even more when friendships are ruined because of this, but you know when you gave everything you can to do whatever you can and failed, maybe it's not meant to be.

So if you're a victim of cyber bully, hold your head up high and smile. Gracious way is the way to go.