the cancelled Japan trip

Last few weeks, the husband broke the news to me.

"Umm..my boss asked me to go for a business trip to Japan sometime in April. Do you wanna go?"

Dude, I'm on my fully paid 2-month maternity leave. Of course I do!!

So I began planning the trip at the back of my head - upon receiving the itinerary of his business trip, which tells me he'd have at least 2 days free of any activities and he'd have to take his clients jalan-jalan around Osaka (where he'll be working during his trip); I immediately Googled some places I knew I'd want to go.

(Insert the word 'outlet' somewhere here.)



And then we realize..

"How do we bring a 2-month old baby on a plane?"

T.T

Firstly, to be honest, I don't think I'm a pro at taking care of my own baby yet - at our own comfort house, yes, where I know everything is ready and available within our reach in case Rayyan needs anything; but at a foreign place away from home (and family).. I'm not sure if I'm capable. Shahrul will be mostly away during the day at his office, which leaves us at the hotel and as much as I love that thought, I'm not sure I'd know how to get to the nearest pharmacy or clinic on my own in cold weather of Japan in case anything happens. (fingers crossed)

And to think I haven't been to Japan in years.. my current Japanese proficiency isn't all that promising.

Secondly, how do you manage a (crying) baby on the plane? If there's anything I dread on a plane, it's crying babies - and you can't help but shoot the parents death stares because you think those parents aren't good at handling their own kids thus taking away your resting time in the plane. Yes, I know we all do think that. So thinking of bringing a baby on the plane on my own, I'm not sure if I'm that bold yet.

And what's the minimum age for a baby to fly? I wasn't even sure.

Shahrul wasn't convinced too.

So I Googled.

As a matter of fact, yes, I can confirm that babies 9 days old and above can fly - and most of the comments at BabyCenter say infants are easier to travel with than toddlers, because they don't know how to walk, crawl or throw tantrums yet. Infants, mostly they would just cry when they're hungry or too hot or too cold and that's it.

(And you can breastfeed on the plane to ensure your baby's ears adjust well to the pressure, I read.)

So I presented the findings to the husband, hoping to obtain his approval, even though in my head I'm still not sure if I'm capable. But I knew if he's on board, that confidence would give me some boost and tell myself that we'll be okay.

He still wasn't convinced. T.T

At this point, I knew I'd try harder to convince him if I really wanted to go and he would say yes. (I know him well.) But really, deep down I'm worried. That "I'm not capable" feeling is still there, I just can't shake it off.

And then I thought.. wow, if we were a married couple and child-less now, I could easily tag along with him to Japan.

And felt extremely selfish and ashamed as a mother to even have that thought. T.T

So bye Tokyo Tower, I guess I'll see you when I'm ready to travel.

Back in 2009, in second year of uni and child-less.

Above all these, it's quite comforting to know I'm putting Rayyan as my top priority now so I feel less  guilty haha WTF.